and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
