wrigley field is MILF paradise
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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