i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
