what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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