Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
