when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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