3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
