Midget sex pt 2 tonight
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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