I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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