Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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