By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
