He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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