i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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