32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
