I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
