3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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