I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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