Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
