so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I love having hate sex.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Every concussion has its silver lining
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
