So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
