she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
