Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
