i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
