this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
