Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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