Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
