I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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