I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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