You're so nebulous sometimes
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Quick, to the slutcave!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
