yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
