I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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