Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
