You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
