He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We don't watch enough power rangers
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
