He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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