Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
