I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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