I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
vagina is talking i cant
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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