Umm I'm too high to move.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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