he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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