his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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