Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
