I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
