Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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