oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
