he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
