It's just like the Real World with babies
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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