you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I love you.
Bad choice
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