Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
