ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
