does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
