bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
