Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
